5 Coping Mechanisms You Learned As A Kid That Make You A Worse Adult

5 Coping Mechanisms You Learned As A Kid That Make You A Worse Adult

The people I love, will leave me.

That was the lesson I learned as a kid growing up through two divorces. I loved my dad, John. He left. I loved my adopted dad, Reid. He left. Now as an adult, I know that it wasn’t that simple. There were a lot of variables. But as an 11 year old, it was exactly that simple. Love was dangerous.

I coped with this by building walls. I learned that if I didn’t get too attached to anybody, I wouldn’t get hurt. So that’s what I did. (more…)

Why You Need Painful Consequences

Why You Need Painful Consequences

As children, immediate consequences were a regular part of our lives. Step out of line at school and get detention. Step out of line at home, maybe you got grounded, maybe you got a smack. When I got busted, grounding was my typical punishment….although, my mom did introduce my butt to the wooden spoon a time or two when I got really out of hand.

It was the immediate, and sometimes painful feedback of those consequences that taught us what the rules were and made us take them seriously. And for the most part they worked.

But that’s not how it is as adults. (more…)