I don’t remember the first divorce. I was three-years-old. All I knew was that my dad left and I missed him.
The second divorce is burned into my memory. Well maybe not the entire thing, as a ten year old I missed all the behind the scenes stuff. But I remember the night they told me. I remember them coming into my room as I was going to bed, their long shadows in the hallway light.
I remember that I didn’t understand any of it. All I knew was that I was losing something special. I was losing another dad.
Over the last decade, I’ve paid attention as friends and acquaintances started divorcing, and I’ve found a pattern. In just about every case, the husbands weren’t leaders in their family. (more…)
When I was working as a cop, it seemed that there was a time when everyone I ran into claimed to be an MMA fighter. “I’m a pro fighter,” they’d tell me. The problem was, that I was a fighter. I had about 20 fights. I wasn’t great — I was on TV once and no one saw it, besides I lost so I am glad — but I knew who the local fighters were. I’d never heard of any of those guys. (more…)
I am going to die on Saturday, December 19th, 2052.
I have less than 38 years to live; 1,190,073,423 seconds according to my Deathclock.
So why do I feel immortal? Why do I feel like somehow I’m special? Like I have plenty of time to accomplish everything I’m here to do? (more…)
My first true love was a slutty drunk.
She was a lot older than me when we met. I was 18. She was engaged to her soon-to-be second husband.
And she was “damned good looking,” according to Ernest Hemingway. My first love was Lady Brett Ashley, the lead female role in The Sun Also Rises. (more…)
Before Alcatraz last year, I hadn’t willingly jumped into cold water since I was on a camping trip when I was eleven. On a ten dollar bet, I cannon-balled into the chilly North fork of the American River. My hatred of cold water overpowered by the anticipation of dropping ten bucks on candy at the corner store.
I’ve dreaded swimming in cold water my whole life. I have done whatever I could to avoid it. But in order to make the swim from Alcatraz without a wetsuit, I had to overcome the power that cold water had over me. (more…)
Full disclosure – I am a proud papa here.
A few weeks back, my 12-year-old son messed something up. I don’t remember what. I think he didn’t do some homework or something. As a consequence, I had him write me a research paper on what he wanted to be when he grew up. When I told him the assignment, his frown turned up a bit and he said, “Dad, this isn’t a punishment, it’s a FUN-ishment.” He ran off. (more…)