This is one of my favorite stories about how perspective shapes our experiences and our world. I use it when someone is angry or frustrated at how others are treating them. It’s a great way to challenge someone to see that their attitude may be part of the problem…Enjoy
One day a traveller was walking along a road on his journey from one village to another. As he walked he noticed a monk tending the ground in the fields beside the road. The monk said “Good day” to the traveller, and the traveller nodded to the monk.
The traveller then turned to the monk and said “Excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?”.
“Not at all,” replied the monk.
“I am travelling from the village in the mountains to the village in the valley and I was wondering if you knew what it is like in the village in the valley?”
“Tell me,” said the monk, “What was your experience of the village in the mountains?”
“Dreadful,” replied the traveller, “To be honest I am glad to be away from there. I found the people most unwelcoming. When I first arrived I was greeted coldly. I was never made to feel part of the village no matter how hard I tried. The villagers keep very much to themselves, they don’t take kindly to strangers. So tell me, what can I expect in the village in the valley?”
“I am sorry to tell you,” said the monk, ” I think your experience will be much the same there”.
The traveller hung his head despondently and walked on.
A while later another traveller was journeying down the same road and he also came upon the monk.
“I’m going to the village in the valley,” said the second traveller, “Do you know what it is like?”
“I do,” replied the monk “But first tell me,where have you come from?”
“I’ve come from the village in the mountains.”
“And how was that?”
“It was a wonderful experience. I would have stayed if I could but I am committed to travelling on. I felt as though I was a member of the family in the village. The elders gave me much advice, the children laughed and joked with me and people were generally kind and generous. I am sad to have left there. It will always hold special memories for me. And what of the village in the valley?” he asked again.
“I think you will find it much the same” replied the monk, “Good day to you.”
“Good day and thank you,” the Traveller replied, smiled, and journeyed on.
1. How are your expectations affecting your experience?
2. How is your perception of how people are treating you affecting how you are treating them?
3. What would it look like to act like the person you aspire to be in spite of how they are treating you?
4. What would it look like to act out of your best self in this situation?